I am most definitely SMART!

Recently, in a large French city, a poster featuring a young, thin and tan woman appeared in the window of a gym. It said:

THIS SUMMER DO YOU WANT TO BE A MERMAID OR A WHALE?

A middle aged woman, whose physical characteristics did not match those of the woman on the poster, responded publicly to the question posed by the gym.

To Whom It May Concern:

Whales are always surrounded by friends (dolphins, sea lions, curious humans). They have an active sex life, they get pregnant and have adorable baby whales. They have a wonderful time with dolphins stuffing themselves with shrimp. They play and swim in the seas, seeing wonderful places like Patagonia, the Bering Sea and the coral reefs of Polynesia. Whales are wonderful singers and have even recorded CDs. They are incredible creatures and virtually have no predators other than humans.

They are loved, protected and admired by almost everyone in the world.

Mermaids don't exist. If they did exist, they would be lining up outside the offices of Argentinean psychoanalysts due to identity crisis. Fish or human? They don't have a sex life because they kill men who get close to them not to mention how could they have sex? Therefore they don't have kids either.

Not to mention who wants to get close to a girl who's skin is all scaly and smells like a fish store?

The choice is perfectly clear to me...

I want to be a whale.

P.S. We are in an age when media puts into our heads the idea that only skinny people are beautiful, but I prefer to enjoy an ice cream with my kids, a good dinner with a man who makes me shiver and a latte with my friends. With time, we gain weight because we accumulate so much information and wisdom in our heads that when there is no more room, it distributes out to the rest of our bodies. So we aren't heavy, we are enormously cultured, educated and happy. Beginning today, when I look at my butt in the mirror I will think, "Good gosh, look how smart I am"!

I am most definitely SMART!

http://nuttygal247waffle.blogspot.com/2009/11/i-am-most-definitely-smart.html

The Wooden Bowl

The Wooden Bowl I guarantee you will remember the tale of the Wooden Bowl tomorrow, a week from now, a month from now, a year from now. A frail old man went to live with his son, daughter-in-law, and four-year-old grandson. The old man's hands trembled, his eyesight was blurred, and his step faltered The family ate together at the table. But the elderly grandfather's shaky hands and failing sight made eating difficult. Peas rolled off his spoon onto the floor. When he grasped the glass, milk spilled on the tablecloth. The son and daughter-in-law became irritated with the mess. 'We must do something about father,' said the son. 'I've had enough of his spilled milk, noisy eating, and food on the floor.' So the husband and wife set a small table in the corner. There, Grandfather ate alone while the rest of the family enjoyed dinner. Since Grandfather had broken a dish or two, his food was served in a wooden bowl. When the family glanced in Grandfather's direction, sometimes he had a tear in his eye as he sat alone. Still, the only words the couple had for him were sharp admonitions when he dropped a fork or spilled food. The four-year-old watched it all in silence. One evening before supper, the father noticed his son playing with wood scraps on the floor. He asked the child sweetly, 'What are you making?' Just as sweetly, the boy responded, 'Oh, I am making a little bowl for you and Mama to eat your food in when I grow up. ' The four-year-old smiled and went back to work. The words so struck the parents so that they were speechless. Then tears started to stream down their cheeks. Though no word was spoken, both knew what must be done. That evening the husband took Grandfather's hand and gently led him back to the family table. For the remainder of his days he ate every meal with the family. And for some reason, neither husband nor wife seemed to care any longer when a fork was dropped, milk spilled, or the tablecloth soiled. On a positive note, I've learned that, no matter what happens, how bad it seems today, life does go on, and it will be better tomorrow. I've learned that you can tell a lot about a person by the way he/she handles four things: a rainy day, the elderly, lost luggage, and tangled Christmas tree lights. I've learned that making a 'living' is not the same thing as making a 'life..' I've learned that life sometimes gives you a second chance. I've learned that you shouldn't go through life with a catcher's mitt on both hands.You nee d to be able to throw something back sometimes. I've learned that if you pursue happiness, it will elude you But, if you focus on your family, your friends, the needs of others, your work and doing the very best you can, happiness will find you I've learned that whenever I decide something with an open heart, I usually make the right decision. I've learned that even when I have pains, I don't have to be one. I've learned that every day, you should reach out and touch someone. People love that human touch -- holding hands, a warm hug, or just a friendly pat on the back. I've learned that I still have a lot to learn.

The Wooden Bowl

http://nuttygal247waffle.blogspot.com/2009/11/wooden-bowl.html

Poppy Appeal

The average British soldier is 19 years old ... he is a short haired, well built lad who, under normal circumstances is considered by society as half man, half boy. Not yet dry behind the ears and just old enough to buy a round of drinks but old enough to die for his country – and for you. He’s not particularly keen on hard work but he’d rather be grafting in Afghanistan than unemployed in the UK. He recently left comprehensive school where he was probably an average student, played some form of sport, drove a ten year old rust bucket, and knew a girl that either broke up with him when he left, or swore to be waiting when he returns home. He moves easily to rock and roll or hip-hop or to the rattle of a 7.62mm machine gun.

He is about a stone lighter than when he left home because he is working or fighting from dawn to dusk and well beyond. He has trouble spelling, so letter writing is a pain for him, but he can strip a rifle in 25 seconds and reassemble it in the dark. He can recite every detail of a machine gun or grenade launcher and use either effectively if he has to. He digs trenches and latrines without the aid of machines and can apply first aid like a professional paramedic. He can march until he is told to stop, or stay dead still until he is told to move.

He obeys orders instantly and without hesitation but he is not without a rebellious spirit or a sense of personal dignity. He is confidently self-sufficient. He has two sets of uniform with him: he washes one and wears the other. He keeps his water bottle full and his feet dry. He sometimes forgets to brush his teeth, but never forgets to clean his rifle. He can cook his own meals, mend his own clothes and fix his own hurts. If you are thirsty, he'll share his water with you; if you are hungry, his food is your food. He'll even share his life-saving ammunition with you in the heat of a firefight if you run low.




He has learned to use his hands like weapons and regards his weapon as an extension of his own hands. He can save your life or he can take it, because that is his job - it's what a soldier does. He often works twice as long and hard as a civilian, draws half the pay and has nowhere to spend it, and can still find black ironic humour in it all. There's an old saying in the British Army: 'If you can't take a joke, you shouldn't have joined!

He has seen more suffering and death than he should have in his short lifetime. He has wept in public and in private, for friends who have fallen in combat and he is unashamed to show it or admit it. He feels every bugle note of the 'Last Post' or 'Sunset' vibrate through his body while standing rigidly to attention. He's not afraid to 'Bollock' anyone who shows disrespect when the Regimental Colours are on display or the National Anthem is played; yet in an odd twist, he would defend anyone's right to be an individual. Just as with generations of young people before him, he is paying the price for our freedom. Clean shaven and baby faced he may be, but be prepared to defend yourself if you treat him like a kid.

He is the latest in a long thin line of British Fighting Men who have kept this country free for hundreds of years. He asks for nothing from us except our respect, friendship and understanding. We may not like what he does, but sometimes he doesn't like it either - he just has it to do. Remember him always, for he has earned our respect and admiration with his blood.



Now we even have brave young women putting themselves in harm's way, doing their part in this tradition of going to war when our nation's politicians call on us to do so. When you receive this, please stop for a moment and if you are so inclined, feel free to say a prayer for our troops in the trouble spots of the world.

Poppy Appeal

http://nuttygal247waffle.blogspot.com/2009/11/poppy-appeal.html

Irena Sendler

There recently was a death of a 98 year-old lady named Irena. During WWII, Irena, got permission to work in the Warsaw Ghetto, as a Plumbing/Sewer specialist. She had an 'ulterior motive' ... She KNEW what the Nazi's plans were for the Jews, (being German.) Irena smuggled infants out in the bottom of the tool box she carried and she carried in the back of her truck a burlap sack, (for larger kids..) She also had a dog in the back that she trained to bark when the Nazi soldiers let her in and out of the ghetto. The soldiers of course wanted nothing to do with the dog and the barking covered the kids/infants noises.. During her time of doing this, she managed to smuggle out and save 2500 kids/infants. She was caught, and the Nazi's broke both her legs, arms and beat her severely. Irena kept a record of the names of all the kids she smuggled out and kept them in a glass jar, buried under a tree in her back yard. After the war, she tried to locate any parents that may have survived it and reunited the family. Most had been gassed. Those kids she helped got placed into foster family homes or adopted.
Last year Irena was up for the Nobel Peace Prize ...She was not selected. Al Gore won, for a slide show on Global Warming! The prize doesn't always go to the most deserving!



In MEMORIAM - 63 YEARS LATER

Please read the little cartoon carefully, it's powerful. Double click on it to make it bigger so you can read it! :o)




It is now more than 60 years after the Second World War in Europe ended. This is in memory of the six million Jews, 20 million Russians, 10 million Christians and 1,900 Catholic priests who were murdered, massacred, raped, burned, starved and humiliated!

Now, more than ever, with Iraq , Iran , and others, claiming the Holocaust to be 'a myth,' it's imperative to make sure the world never forgets, because there are others who would like to do it again.

Irena Sendler

http://nuttygal247waffle.blogspot.com/2009/08/irena-sendler.html

The Wind In My Hair........LOL

The Wind In My Hair........LOL

http://nuttygal247waffle.blogspot.com/2009/06/wind-in-my-hairlol.html

Boring Boring Boring.....

OK, please see post below from Monday 12th January!! I might as well just cut and paste it - how annoying is that! 6 months on and I can say exactly the same thing all over again. So, basically I have done CRAP over the last 6 months....yes.....6 freakin months and now I'm saying the same old boring thing again about the same old boring diet. Day 1 (again) and yes I have managed to stay within my points! I am hoping that one day when I say this same old boring stuff that I will actually have the will power to STICK to it and that in 6 months time I am SLIM!!!! Other people do it so why the hell can't I just get my arse into gear and DO IT too!!!!!!!!!!!!! ok, rant over LOL xx

Boring Boring Boring.....

http://nuttygal247waffle.blogspot.com/2009/06/boring-boring-boring.html

Diet (yes again) Day 1

OK, I'm back, been a looooooooooooong time gone but I'm back now :o)

Joined Weight Watchers today and so far so good. I get 23 points and I have had 20 today - woooo hoooo.

Off to bed now, hopefully tomorrow will be a good day too. One day at a time this time and slowly slowly catchy monkey or so they say!!

Diet (yes again) Day 1

http://nuttygal247waffle.blogspot.com/2009/01/diet-yes-again-day-1.html

The Difference Between Men & Women

The Difference Between Men & Women

http://nuttygal247waffle.blogspot.com/2008/08/difference-between-men-women.html

Flipping Heck

I only have one thing to say...............................I'm HOT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! and I don't like it! Oh, I guess that was 2 things to say! LOL :o)

Flipping Heck

http://nuttygal247waffle.blogspot.com/2008/07/flipping-heck.html

If...No.2

If you had to lose one of your five senses which would you give up?

I think it would have to be smell. I wouldn't want to lose ANY of them and hope I never have to find out what it would feel like. I am thankful and blessed to have all 5. I can't imagine a world where I can't see my baby girl growing up. I love food too much to get rid of taste but then again actually maybe that would be a better one to get rid off, perhaps that would help my diet! Oh No! But wait! Imagine smelling something gorgeous like fresh bread cooking and then not being able to taste it - that would suck!

Hearing and sight are the 2 most important to me and then I wanna be able to feel my babies hugs so touch has to come third so really it is between taste and smell, I think I'll stick with smell.

So, what about you guys?

If...No.2

http://nuttygal247waffle.blogspot.com/2008/07/ifno2.html

Fitting In Spiritually

I just read my gorgeous friend Syd's post spiritually speaking and it reminded me that I have been meaning to do a post myself regarding the same topic. Those who have been reading my blog from the beginning will know I have been on a bit of a journey to find god or find a religion that I actually believe or feel I fit in with.

I struggled with the whole getting Kadyn christened thing as I didn't want to stand there and make loads of promises about Jesus and stuff that I didn't whole heartedly believe in myself. However, I did want to thank god for my beautiful baby girl. I have never doubted god himself, just the fact that some people believe there is only ONE path to him. I have always thought good people in many different religions will all reach god in the end, we all just have different ways of getting there.

Most religions are not tolerant of other religions and I really struggle with that. I read loads of different stuff in my quest to find a religion I felt like I really agreed with and I finally came across this:

Click here for more details on : Unitarianism

They believe that:

• everyone has the right to seek truth and meaning for themselves.
• the fundamental tools for doing this are your own life experience, your reflection upon it, your intuitive understanding and the promptings of your own conscience.
• the best setting for this is a community that welcomes you for who you are, complete with your beliefs, doubts and questions.

They can be called religious ‘liberals’:

• religious because we unite to celebrate and affirm values that embrace and reflect a greater reality than self.
• liberal because we claim no exclusive revelation or status for ourselves; because we afford respect and toleration to those who follow different paths of faith.

We are called ‘Unitarians’:

• because of our traditional insistence on divine unity, the oneness of God.
• because we affirm the essential unity of humankind and of creation.

_________________________________________________________________

I like it!! I feel like I fit in here! I called the fellowship in my area and spoke to a lovely lady who's father is a retired minister. Him and his wife travelled down to meet us and he is going to perform the naming ceremony for Kadyn in September. I feel so much more comfortable about the whole thing. We have some beautiful readings about life and children and I will post them on here after the ceremony.

I have always wanted to be part of a religion, church or group. I feel like an outsider sometimes and I often wish I had found that faith that so many people have at an early age. I read some blogs where people seem to have an almost second family, their church family. It seems like a different world sometimes. Everyone seems happy and kind. There are people that are married to their high school sweethearts, have a lovely houses, beautiful children, active busy lives, happy happy happy, they go to church. I often wish I WAS in that kind of life. I went down a different path I guess.

I think the whole community thing is so much bigger in the states too, one of the reasons I sometimes wish we had stayed there. Well, actually I don't so much wish we had stayed there, more like wonder what it would have been like if we had. Would I have become part of some kind of group. Would I have done loads of activities I enjoyed (they always had way more activities and social events at school in the USA than over here ever did) or would I have always felt like the outsider over there. The English one. The one that speaks differently.

Actually I have always wanted to fit in. To blend into the background. Be the same as other people. I don't like being different, I don't want to be different. I don't want to be unique which is a bit weird I suppose - I want to be like other people - It makes me feel better. I don't know why!!

I guess that is why I was searching to fit into a religion. I wanted to be able to say I am a ........blar blar blar. I wasn't content being the ONLY one that thought the things I thought and felt the way I did and it was a huge relief and comfort when I found the Unitarian website and read what they believed in. I no longer felt like I was ALONE - there are others out there that think a little like ME!!

Fitting In Spiritually

http://nuttygal247waffle.blogspot.com/2008/07/fitting-in-spiritually.html

Why We Love Children No.3

Why We Love Children No.3

http://nuttygal247waffle.blogspot.com/2008/07/why-we-love-children-no3.html

Back in Time No.2 (15 years old)

20th October 1990
I'm in love! Me and mum went down to Yorkshire on Friday for Alison and Paul's wedding on Saturday. At the disco afterwards I had a right laugh. Paul is in the navy and 12 of his navy mates were supposed to be there but 6 of them had to go to the gulf, so there were only 6 at the disco. Paul is 24 but all his mates were different ages. I fancied this one called Robby or Bobby, I'm not sure which one, but this girl Rachel was dancing with him. Then all the other blokes were talking to me. Someone dropped £5 on the floor so I asked Robby's mate if it was his. All of them were pissed then him and Robby put their arms around me and said to keep it, so I did.

I danced from 7.30pm till 1am in the morning. The last song was "you will never walk alone" and one of the sailors said "would you care to dance?". I got up and we danced. He goes "How come ya not drunk?". I was a bit but I went and said "Dunno me mum would kill me" and he said "Why? under age drinking?" and I go "yeah suppose". He laughed and said "How old are ya?" and I said "15" and he said "Oh god you will get me in trouble". At the end of the night he said "I'd kiss you goodnight but I can't". I said "Why not?". He looked at me and smiled and then....he kissed me (Heaven) It was lovely.

I've decided to get married now! Hopefully to a sailor! One problem is I don't know how old this bloke was or what his name is. I think he is about 20 and I found out his name from Jackie. It was "Muppet". That is his nickname. I am in love. I really wanna know what his real name is and how old he is. I wanna get off with him. He is really nice. I hope I see him again. I don't know how I am going to but I hope I do.Maybe if Alison and Paul get a kid and it gets christened. I LOVE HIM! I can't stop thinking about him.

23rd October 1990
I'm lying on my bed thinking about him. I can't stop, I think my brain is going to burst! I wanna be older than I am. I wanna be his girlfriend. I really wanna see him again.

I LOVE MUPPET

I know this sounds stupid but I don't wanna be friends with my age lot and I wanna live up north. All my mates are druggies and don't care about people.up north they care about people!
_______________________________________

Reading back through all my diary entries, no wonder my mum was obsessed with me "doing IT". She used to go on and on about "IT" and I used to get really annoyed but now I kinda see why. I CONSTANTLY talked about boys! I fancied a different flipping boy almost every other day! All I wrote about was BOYS! I didn't actually lose my big V until I was 17 so she really had nothing to worry about but I sure can see why she was!

Back in Time No.2 (15 years old)

http://nuttygal247waffle.blogspot.com/2008/07/back-in-time-no2-15-years-old.html

Just One Nostril

I can only breath through one flipping nostril! It is doing my head in and had me awake for most of the night. I've got that horrible snot thing going on where nothing comes out when you blow ya nose but if you snif you get a back wash of nastiness which then sticks in your throat and you have to keep swallowing over and over again to get rid of the feeling of something being stuck down there! God that was a long sentence! It was also probably way too much info regarding snot that any of you readers really wanted to read but sod it - I've said it now!

Just One Nostril

http://nuttygal247waffle.blogspot.com/2008/07/just-one-nostril.html

The Ranting Scotsman

One of the blogs I read is "The Ranting Scotsman". His "People Suck" series is SO funny! I love his rants! They are usually about something that I rant about too apart from I do the ranting in my head and he does it out loud on his blog and he says it way better than I could ever say it!!

He asked my to pimp his band for him which, while it's not totally my cup of tea, I don't mind doing at all. I do actually like some of the mellow tracks on his MySpace page and he has a really nice voice. As you all know though, I am more of a Lynden David Hall kinda girl myself.

Pimping Time - Albany Down

So, that's my random act of kindness for the day :o)

The Ranting Scotsman

http://nuttygal247waffle.blogspot.com/2008/07/ranting-scotsman.html

Why We Love Children No.2

Why We Love Children No.2

http://nuttygal247waffle.blogspot.com/2008/07/why-we-love-children-no2.html

Back In Time No.1 (Just Turned 15 years old)

10th September 1990
It was my birthday today! Everybody tried to throw me in the grunden and the pond but I screamed so they didn't bother. I had an argument with Amanda but we made up. I got some really nice presents and my dad remembered to send me a card. I'm having a party on Saturday (woo sexy). I think I fancy Scott (he is a bit of a prick though).

11th September 1990
I had a massive argument with my mum. She said I wasn't aloud alcohol there when she had said I could and she said she was going to stay in (stupid cow) But.....I made up with her and she said she would supply some (better than nothing).

19th September 1990
I've been off school today and yesterday because I have a cold. My party was a right laugh. I got pissed along with everyone else. In the end there was about 50 people there. Karen got paryletic. She threw up all over my mums bed and carpet and my presents. My mum was great she bought loads of cider and we all had a right laugh! I fancy: ? I like a lot:Richard,Ricky,Scott.W. I'm going to school tomorrow (Boo) Talk to ya lata!
________________________________

Can you believe I called my mum a cow?! Sorry mum! I can't imagine allowing Kadyn to get pissed on her 15th birthday either, poor girl aint going to be aloud out until she is at least 25!! LMAO :o)

Back In Time No.1 (Just Turned 15 years old)

http://nuttygal247waffle.blogspot.com/2008/07/back-in-time-15-years-old.html

Back In Time - Introduction

I found my old diary the other day and was having a read through. I thought it might be funny if I posted my entries on my blog. I am going to post them word for word as they were wrote nearly 18 years ago! I'm gonna call this series....Back In Time!! I will make the diary entries in italics so you can tell what I wrote back then and see the comments from now. Hope that makes sense :o)

Back In Time - Introduction

http://nuttygal247waffle.blogspot.com/2008/07/back-in-time-introduction.html

There Is Light And Snot

I have not cried for the last few days! It can't be the "happy pills" working yet as they don't kick in for at least a few weeks so I reckon it is just cos I can see light at the end of the tunnel. My time of the month is over and that makes a huge difference. I am just left with about 10 massive spots on my face which is really attractive...not! I cleaned up my kitchen and lounge which is a start. I decided to do one thing at a time instead of trying to do it ALL!

On another note, we woke up this morning to the door buzzer going and I had totally forgot that the sky man was coming round to install sky plus. I looked a right old state! Mashed up bed head hair, spots not covered with any make-up, boobs hanging as no bra on, top with Kadyn's dribble stains all over it! Hmmm...Nice! Anyway, I let him in and went to get Kadyn out of my bed. I walked back into the lounge chatting away to the guy and then looked at Kadyn....OH.MY.GOD! My child looked like an alien baby!!!! He must of thought she had some kind of skin disfigurement. She had dark green snot all over her face. When I say all over, I mean ALL over!! From above her eyes to under her chin! Thick, dried and crusted SNOT! Totally caked all over her poor little face! I quickly proceeded to remove the snot but it was like flipping green glue stuck to my baby's face! After lots of wet wipes and plenty of tears she finally looked like a human baby again!

There Is Light And Snot

http://nuttygal247waffle.blogspot.com/2008/07/there-is-light-and-snot.html

If... No.1

So, I have got this new book called "If... (Questions for the game of life) by Evelyn McFarlane & James Saywell. It is full of questions that can be used at a dinner party, icebreaker between new acquaintances , it can even help you get to know yourself better (apparently).

Anyhoo, I thought it would be cool to pick questions and ask them on my blog and then my blog readers could answer them too. Now I know I don't have many readers so it could end up that I am the only one answering the questions but I still thought it would be fun.

So the first question is:

If you had to eliminate a single type of animal forever more, which would you choose?

Well, the first thing that came into my mind is that I don't want to eliminate ANY animal coz I love animals. Then I tried to think about the animals I'm not too keen on and I thought of earwigs and daddy longlegs and then I thought "pants! they are not animals, they are insects!" so now I'm stuck again. Urrrrrrrrm, think think think......god this one is hard! Then I thought of a snake and again "pants! that is a reptile" Urrrrrrm.... Right, I have sat here for about 20 minutes now trying to think of an animal I don't like and I can't!!!!!!!!! Flippin heck, I'm really good at this game aren't I??! Ok, so I think I will pick those mean nasty horrible pitbull dogs, the ones that are vicious and attack other animals.

What about you? Leave me a comment with your answer or you can answer it on your own blog and sign Mr.Linky.

If... No.1

http://nuttygal247waffle.blogspot.com/2008/07/if-no1.html